The prerequisite for adulthood is responsibility. For someone on a spiritual journey, responsibility becomes paramount. In the ego, we frequently find ourselves busy taking responsibility for everyone else, leaving us little time or energy to take responsibility for ourselves. One of the ironies of the spiritual journey is that one tends to become selfish (at least in the eyes of others), for it takes energy and commitment to clear the veils of darkness.

   Spiritual maturity begins with taking responsibility for your self, instead of blaming others for all the ills that beset you. Who is this self? And what exactly are you asked to take responsibility for? Well, there are actually three selves, and three areas of responsibility. There is the soul-self, and here the responsibility is the sadness/pain that torments soul-self. There is spirit-self, and here the responsibility is the anxiety/fear that cripples this part of self. Then there is the God-self, the self who is at the heart of the blame game that is destroying everything. The responsibility of this part of self is the anger, arguably the darkest veil of all. In one of those spiritual paradoxes, this very God-self is the self that must ultimately take the responsibility for clearing the veils, and yet this is the very part blaming everyone and everything else for the pain of the soul-self, the fear and insecurity of the spirit-self, and the anger of the God-self. My advice to your God-self is to take a very hard look at the blame game, see the destruction it has wrought in your family, the devastation it has wreaked and continues to wreak in the world. Ask yourself a very simple question “Does the blame game work?” Quite simply, in the realms of the spiritual and material worlds, is the blame game making life better for me individually, better for the world collectively?

   The ego, the source of the feeling of separateness, deludes us into believing that what happens within is somehow contained within. For instance, if I am in sadness, in depression, it seems contained within myself. Nothing could be further from the truth. When in pain, your soul is pouring light into a veil of darkness: pain. The pain veil transforms the light into darkness and projects it into the world. What originates in the soul center as pure unconditional love-light is transformed into darkness as it passes through the veil into the world. Every moment your soul is lost in the pain, she is unwittingly pouring that pain into the world. The same is occurring with spirit’s fear; each moment your spirit is caught in the anxiety/fear, he is projecting that darkness into a world already drowning in it. And every moment that your God center is lost in his ancient rage, whether expressed or not, he is pouring the most destructive energy in creation into the world. The effects of six billion sleeping Gods unconsciously inundating the creation with this darkness are readily apparent. One has only to turn on the news.

   It does not matter where your soul’s pain came from. It does not help to explore the past endlessly looking for the cause, for who’s to blame for doing this to me, for even if you were able to pinpoint the origin, the one supposedly responsible, nothing will change. For the pain, whatever its origin, is within you; you carry it, and will continue to carry it until you realize that it is your responsibility to clear it, and to constantly blame others simply prolongs the agony. The pain, as well as the fear and anger, can be cleared, but not while you are distracted searching for where to point the finger of blame.

   When I suggest that one must take responsibility for the veils of darkness that one carries, I need to be clear that I’m not suggesting you blame yourself, as many spiritual people do. Others are not to blame, they are merely triggering the veils, nor are you to blame, for you didn’t willingly embrace pain, fear, and anger. No one is to blame, and in assuming responsibility for these veils, one is simply acknowledging that whatever the origin of these veils, I’m stuck with them, blaming others will not remove them; affirmations will not remove them; the power of positive thinking will not remove them; mood-altering pharmaceuticals will not remove them; hell, even a spiritual master cannot remove them for you. This is the work, the work of the spiritual seeker, the one who wants to be free, to purge themselves once and for all of the darkness within which is destroying a life, destroying a world.

   You’re the only one who can do it, and as difficult as it can be, once begun you might find it addictive, as others have found, to move on a journey inwards towards the true centers of light, the true selves within: soul, spirit, and God. The journey, the path, is the fulfillment, and the first step is taken when one begins to take responsibility for their own pain/fear/anger and begin to search for ways to clear the darkness and release the light.

   If you are to succeed in waking up, these are the three obstacles: pain, fear, and anger. All ego states; all the suffering you experience can be linked to these three veils.  Everything you don’t like about yourself and the world around you will be linked to these three roots of the ego madness. Your God-self (the one whose essence is truth) must ruthlessly examine the path he has chosen for you, asking himself the question, “Am I addressing the causes of my problems, or merely continuing to distract myself? Am I serious enough in my personal work, do I care enough about the world, to finally bite the bullet and begin the task of clearing the darkness the only place I can, within myself.” If your soul, spirit, and God want to be a light unto the world, the price to release the soul’s perfect love-light is the pain surrounding her; the price to release the spirit’s perfect trust-light is the fear surrounding him, and the price to release the great truth-light of God is his ancient anger. Are you willing to pay the price?

   For those interested in clearing the veils of darkness go to Rebelliousspirit.com, click on the webzine manuscript “Awakening”. Anurag may be reached at (207) 286-8060, or e-mail: sacoswami@aol.