As the holidays approach, many of us feel our stress levels begin to climb. We may even make reference to “getting through the holidays” as if they were a challenging obstacle course rather than a time to enjoy family, friends, and seasonal festivities. In previous years, we may have promised ourselves that “this year will be different,” only to end up in the same condition – worn out, stressed, financially overextended, and maybe even a little bit resentful. Well, the truth is, if nothing changes, nothing will change! So why not put the following few suggestions into action this year? If you do, it’s guaranteed that you will decrease your holiday stress and increase your experience of the peace and joy the season proclaims.

Take an inventory of past years.

Think about past holidays. What worked and what didn’t? For instance, in previous years, did you exhaust yourself by saying ‘yes’ to each and every invitation and request? Did you get caught up in the insanity of spending more than you intended? By trying to fit it all in, did you feel hassled and harried rather than serene and joyful? On the other side of the spectrum, think of the moments and activities that were truly meaningful. What did they consist of? Working in a soup kitchen with your family members? Putting together an anonymous basket for somebody in need? Making a gingerbread house or holiday cookies with loved ones? Quiet moments of reflection or contemplation? Attending a Christmas concert or religious service? Throwing a family get-together? Relive your fondest memories of holiday seasons gone by and then make a decision – right now – to include more of “what worked well” and less of “what’s expected.”

Follow the commitment through.

Before you commit to doing something, making something, giving something, or showing up somewhere, visualize what it will actually entail. Does it mean that you will be out three nights in a row? Are you committing to something that will absolutely put you over the edge in terms of time and energy? How well will it work for others in your family? Does it involve a school night? Could somebody else do it or at least help? Far too often, we put ourselves in the martyr role when all we really need is to: a) ask for help, or b) just say no. We don’t have to do it all and we don’t have to do it all by ourselves.

Use “special” rather than “perfect” as your standard.

Whether shopping, baking, wrapping, decorating, entertaining, or dressing up, think about making the event or the outfit or the gift or the meal “special” rather than “perfect.” Striving for perfection is a disappointment waiting to happen. It can also require us to spend more than we have or want to spend; make choices that don’t reflect who we truly are; or attempt to live up to what we perceive as other’s expectations, an undertaking which often backfires. On the other hand, “special” implies something individual, magical, unique and not necessarily costly.

Remember the simplicity of less.

If you are one of those who gets easily seduced by the holiday lure of bargains, you might want to “pause and think” before jumping in with your credit cards. Remember, a bargain is not a bargain if you don’t need it, won’t use it, or can’t afford it, or if they don’t need it or they won’t use it. In fact, this might be the year to incorporate the principles of a Navajo Indian tribe who believed in using only what you need, providing for others, and not wasting.

Hold a vision.

A good way to guard against holiday “impulse and excess” is to keep a mental image of how you want to look and feel when the fat man stops Ho-Ho-Ho-ing. You might consider drinking a large glass or water and/or eating an apple or hard-boiled egg before attending parties or functions. Remember, when we are hungry and thirsty, we are far more apt to make unhealthy choices regarding what we eat and drink. The cumulative price we pay for this is often reflected back to us as we step on the scale and look in the mirror on January 1st.

Respect that not everybody is in the holiday mood.

There are some people for whom the holidays can be extremely difficult, especially those who are coping with a recent loss, illness or misfortune. When someone is in the midst of physical or emotional pain, they might need special consideration. While it is good to include these individuals whenever possible, we must not insist that they enjoy themselves or feel as if we have failed if they don’t! We can also apply this same principle to ourselves.

Shift the focus.

For those of us who consistently find the holidays stressful and exhausting rather than special and enjoyable, it might be time to simply shift our focus. To take our energy and attention off the plethora of stimuli and commercialism which bombard our every waking moment and place it ever so gently on the “reason for the season.”

This article was submitted by Betty Hill Crowson, Holistic Life Coach, Retreat Director, and Author of The Joy is in the Journey: A Woman’s Guide Through Crisis and Change. Betty is also a popular speaker and conducts teleclasses. For more information, visit www.thejoyisinthejourney.com.