The goal of Yoga is to have a deeper relationship with your self. The self in yoga can be written Self. Practicing Yoga earnestly means self-evaluation all the way along the way. So how exactly do we be ourselves? Inside us each of us has a core, an identity separate from external identities. I am a Mainer, a female, I do this for work, my partner is that. In the midst of these external identities lies within us what is called the true identity. In Kundalini Yoga we use the words Sat Nam to represent this true identity, we meditate on these two words

The Yoga Sutras, or scriptures, open with this:

“Yoga is experienced in that mind which has ceased to identify itself with its vacillating waves of perception.

When this happens, the Seer is revealed, resting in its own essential nature, and one realizes the True Self.”

In yoga the idea is that your authentic self radiates from your Soul. There are many identities in the external world yet each of us energetically has our own identity. At any given time we might be relating more to being positive, other times to being negative. These are not separate parts of you, one more you than the other; they are part of the many sides of you that make up your whole self. The question arises often in yoga if people who do yoga should be emotionless, calm at all times. The answer is no. We are humans and to be ourselves means to recognize all parts of our selves, not repress them because of some model we have of yoga. One of our guests recently said she went on a retreat where she had to feel out who she could actually talk to as there seemed to be this aura of “ if you are at a yoga retreat you are quiet, holier than thou.” Yoga is meant to have us handle our joy and sorrows and anger in an aware way, not to be emotionless. It is a practice mentally as much as, if not more so than, physically. Sometimes silence is a wonderful practice and we can waste a lot of time and energy talking but if we were meant to be silent all the time we would not be given the gift of gab!

Being yourself means not caring what others think. One student said she wondered what “normal” people who drink and get drunk, finding this acceptable socially, would think of yoga practitioners who instead of drinking and drugging sit around chanting! She said that perhaps these others would think yogis were weirdoes. Each one of us has to figure our way to be who we are. In yoga the way to get there is to purify the body, mind and breath as much as we have time to practice, not pollute the clarity within with outside substances. This too is a personal choice. Everyone has their path, their dharma, their karma and it is not for yogis to try to change others but to live by example of who they are and in so doing see if they can inspire others to find themselves and their happiness too. Practicing yoga, avoiding things like alcohol and drugs, we should not think ourselves better or less or more weird than others. The world is a diverse place made up of many complicated human beings. Finding yourself in order to be yourself can happen quickly or take years. Sometimes the biggest tragedy pushes us to really look inside, to become who we really are, not some image we or society or our family and friends holds of us. Yoga offers a handy tool to know ourselves better. The asanas, or poses, give us a deeper relationship with the physical body, the breath gives us a deeper relationship with our inner life and being, meditation helps us observe, understand and direct our mind more efficiently. All of these yoga practices can help us better know ourselves; the tricky thing can be our blind spots, which excellent teachers and true friends can help us see.

Here is a 15-minute Kundalini Yoga practice called Meditation On the Self.

The idea behind it, and why people often do their physical practice before meditating, is that breathing and moving can open the body to be more receptive to the benefits of meditation.

Before you do this set it is helpful to learn and practice breath of fire. Remember when doing this breath the inhale and exhale are equal, the exhale is not larger than the inhale. It takes some practice so start with long deep belly breathing and feel that the breath of fire goes the same place, to the navel, the seat of your power and fire. If you feel you are running out of breath slow down and keep practicing on getting the breath deep. It is not hyperventilation, which is shallow scared breathing. When you become proficient this is a great breath for overall health, strengthening and balancing the energy of all your cells. OK, let’s go! Breath of fire is a rapid rhythmic breath through the nose, pumping the belly with the breath (and the diaphragm), make sure the belly fills on the inhale, not the opposite! Eyes closed and focused between your eyebrows throughout.

1. Sit on your heels or cross-legged, spine straight, and begin to flex your spine forward and back as quickly as you can. Do not bob your head, keep the head straight on top of the spine, face forward. When moving the spine forward the chest lifts, when moving back it caves in. Do this for 3 minutes with a continuous breath of fire (the pace of your movement does not have to be as fast as the breath).
2. Sit on your heels or cross-legged and bring your arms straight up, elbows straight, palms together, fingers clasped except the index fingers, which meet and point up. Begin to say SAT as you pull your navel (belly) in and NAM as you release. The breath will now be automatically through the nose. Be strong with the sound SAT, like you are spitting it out. 3 minutes, then inhale and hold the breath, exhale and hold. Squeeze the lower internal muscles as you suspend the breath. Relax.
3. Sit on your heels or cross-legged and hold on to your knees or hands on the thighs (if on your heels). With a continuous breath of fire, alternate lifting and lowering your shoulders for 3 minutes.
4. Now come sitting cross-legged and for 6 minutes meditate on the flow of creative energy in you. Meditate on: Who Am I? Meditate on your past, your present and your future. Ask yourself “ What Is It I Wish To Accomplish?”

Repeat a second time all 4 steps to have a complete meditation on the Self.

“The Universe is created by sound and spirit. What is the frequency at which you want to create? And what is the energy you put into it? How sweet are you? How simple are you? How sure are you? That decides your life” Yogi Bhajan, Master of Kundalini Yoga.

Donna Amrita Davidge owns and operates www.sewallhouse.com Yoga retreat in Island Falls Maine with her musician and chef husband Kent Bonham. Amrita also maintains a teaching practice in New York City.