“If you have integrity nothing else matters.
If you don’t have integrity nothing else matters.”

 In our everyday lives, and especially in our yoga practice, the integrity we have shows up reflected somewhere. While many people look at yoga as some sort of sport, many realize it is actually the union of mind, body and spirit (or breath) governed by the Yamas and Niyamas, guidelines for living. In my own practice, the first 14 of the almost 25 years I have been a practitioner I did solely Kundalini Yoga. The importance of self-evaluation, self-analysis and self-growth or evolution has always been a subtle and powerful part of the practice. Kundalini Yoga is more about developing your personal caliber and character than about doing the perfect asana (pose) or the most challenging one. Our teacher, Yogi Bhajan, in no uncertain terms let us know, in the many times I had the good fortune to be around the Master, his only concern was for us to do the physical aspects of the practice to reap the benefits for the physical system of the glands, blood, nerves, internal organs and energy systems called chakras, and create inner balance. As I reflect about my switch over to integrating more physically oriented forms of yoga practice, like Ashtanga since 1999, I feel blessed that my first deep experience with Yoga was with Yogi Bhajan’s emphasis on commitment, caliber and character.

Kundalini Yoga also emphasizes meditation in its encouragement of pre-dawn sadhana (spiritual practice) to cleanse the subconscious to the mantras and breath meditations that are integrated into the yoga classes as a powerful component of overall practice.

The Yamas in Yoga train your actions, speech and thought. These are:

Non-harming ~ Truthfulness ~ Nonstealing~ Remembering the higher reality.

This requires vigilant self-awareness done with gentleness, acceptance and love. In yoga the mind is constantly in training to develop clarity, not to be clouded with the opposite of the Yamas, and to develop being truly positive and joyful. Our anger, greed and delusion can be mild, moderate or intense. Meditation is what can literally shift our internal wiring. Nelson Mandela and Gandhi are two outstanding examples of human beings who developed themselves, transcending their earlier limitations. In the beginning of his biography Gandhi speaks of not treating his wife well and Mandela went into prison angry and came out years later evolved. Until we can be consciously awake in our actions we cannot attempt to change them.

For me one person in the yoga community comes to mind. It has been a puzzle to me. In yoga the belief in karma is that we are in this lifetime a reflection of our past lives but we can change that through right action, which of course takes self-awareness, self-evaluation and effort. Yogi Bhajan said, “There is no liberation without labor” and that is true on many levels!

In 2000, the first year I started having staff at Sewall House Yoga Retreat, I went to an initial meeting of the New York Yoga Teachers Association. It seemed a great concept, teachers of all different yoga traditions coming together to learn from each other, share with each other and serve the community. The woman who was running the meeting was someone I did not know and we were hosted by her Center for this meeting. I gathered that with all this talk of sharing and community she would be a good person to ask about posting a notice in search of a chef for my retreat in Maine. At the most I thought she would be gracious, like other centers were after this incident, but at the least perhaps be helpful if what I asked was not appropriate. With an intimidating look and an arrogant tone, she asked me if I was a member of the Association. Since the only people present were Association members, I said, “Yes, I was.” She coldly replied,  “We don’t do that kind of thing,” Besides being struck by this woman’s tone I found out that she claimed not only to be a yogi but also a Buddhist (known for loving-kindness practice and non-harming of others)! My Buddhist friends won’t even kill a mosquito, let alone be mean-spirited to someone. The incident hit me in a way I was not to forget.

A year or so later a colleague of mine attended a Yoga Journal event in New York City. She approached this same woman and was met with the same tone of arrogance. The third incident told me something about her integrity. There is a woman who has been vacationing for many years in Island Falls, the town where our retreats are and, like me, has family ties here that go way back. She is known to be of the utmost integrity. Far removed from New York City, she mentioned to me one summer how her daughters, who had a graphic design firm in New York City, were doing work for this same woman. As neutrally as I could respond I said “Oh, that’s nice, I know of her but don’t really know her.” A few summers after the woman told me that this woman had ripped off her daughters. Meanwhile, this woman has built an empire. Her studio has moved and expanded, even to other countries. It is packed with students, teacher trainers, products, she presents at all the major venues and pops up as a columnist in major yoga publications. It has puzzled me for a long time. If people ask me about her, and they do, I will say the yoga is very good but I have never taken a class there, which is true. She is obviously knowledgeable. I admire what she has created, but to me integrity is what you do especially when no one is watching, or how your treat everyone and anyone. (“If you don’t see God in all, you don’t see God at all," Yogi Bhajan). Do you treat people who can “get you somewhere” the same as those who cannot?

All we can know is that we are fully walking our walk and when we see others not doing this, we should do our best (myself included) not to judge them. We need to be gentle with others and ourselves in our evaluations. Still, when the topic of integrity comes up, I cannot help but think of this woman. All I can do, all you can do, is reflect on these things but the only thing we can change from our inner reflection is OUR thoughts, actions and words. If we all did this, whether we practice the physical aspect of yoga or not, the world would be a better place, honoring all of creations’ creatures with love, charity and compassion. Maybe this woman has changed and, even if she hasn’t, my avoiding her or her center won’t affect her much.

I cannot help but wonder if through someone who cares enough and knows her well enough she may someday see these inner aspects that are showing up in her outer life. She is obviously very knowledgeable and teaches and inspires many. All the knowledge in the world does not help if we don’t apply it. Living it is our integrity.