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Dear Asrianna,

I have a ghost in my house, I’m sure of it. At seventy-one years old, I’ve seen a lot, but this takes the cake. There are shadow people, dark outlines of people that I see primarily out of the corner of my eyes but sometimes full-on. Cupboard doors open and close. Lights flicker. Yesterday my grown son was visiting and a neighbor came by to say hello. As we all sat around the kitchen table we heard a noise and looked to the source just in time to see a plastic container fly off the cabinet and fall to the ground. Needless to say my neighbor lost no time in leaving!

Could it be my deceased husband? He was a cruel man and I suffered many a broken bone but I loved him to the day he died. Maybe he is here to make amends. I don’t really feel afraid but I find I’m constantly alert and jumpy. I mean, it’s a surprise when a water spigot turns on by itself! Can you give me any advice? Should I want it or them (since I don’t know if it’s just one or more) to go, or should I welcome the phenomena? The one thing I do know is that this isn’t my imagination.

I feel awful and I know what I have to do but it’s just so difficult. Can you help me, Asrianna?

Signed, Too Confused to be Afraid

Dear Confused,

Anytime we venture into the area of the paranormal, we risk being seen as too imaginative, naïve, or, worse, somehow mentally off.  Many people see the world as purely physical. Challenge their viewpoint and you’re likely to incur their disbelief, amusement, or outrage. Accepting your experiences as valid is a great starting point toward understanding the phenomena going on around you. Doing so without fear is the most important element.

All that being said, it’s always wisest to start with the easiest and most mundane explanations if they fit. Not everything is out of the ordinary and there are definitely instances where people see the paranormal when it’s just an everyday occurrence.

For instance, where was the plastic container on the cabinet surface? Was it too close to the edge? Did it fall straight down as if it had merely vibrated to the edge through footsteps, or was it hurled across the room? Did it float a few feet away, or make an arc of movement? Did it land softly or with a loud impact?

Is your spigot part of an old faucet that has lost its ability to regulate water flow? Do your cupboard doors latch properly or is it possible that any footstep against floors that give could case them to swing open?

Please know that I’m not discounting your experiences. I’m just suggesting you eliminate the understandable, practical causes first so that what’s left is truly outside of the ordinary.

Most of what you’ve described is often put down to poltergeist activity. The moving cabinet doors, flickering lights, faucets turning on, flying kitchen containers certainly fall under the range of poltergeist anomaly. To go into the reasons and details, and history of this kind of paranormal activity could—and has—taken up books. Many parapsychologists now believe poltergeist activity is psychokinetic energy usually originating from adolescents. Others see the “noisy ghost” as being a rather irrational, mischievous spirit capable of interacting with the living.

Shadow people.

It seems as if the newest spate of paranormal sightings includes what are now being termed shadow people or shadow beings. These are normally dark masses of density that may have a discernible, human-like outline but lack clear features or details. Typically seen out of the corner of one’s eyes as a fleeting movement, they are also seen by direct gaze.

When further described, they’re explained as being too dense for light to pass through, sometimes red eyes are seen, and people complain of feelings of dread or fear accompanying the darting shadows. Still others see them as positive proof that beings outside the physical realm exist and treat them as wonderful signs of the existence of life after death.

There are a number of explanations offered as a reason or origin of shadow people. Some see them as merely a different form of the dead manifesting. Rather than the white, milky or misty forms we’ve come to associate with spirits, they—by choice or limited ability—chose to attain visibility through casting dense shadows or becoming shadows themselves.

They’ve been theorized as being demonic, primarily due to the dark black or murky color, the occasional red eyes and the feelings of dread some feel when in the presence of the shadows. However, I always caution people against jumping to the most negative, malevolent explanation. Not everything we see or find confusing needs to be demonic and for too long people have relegated the unknown to the realm of the demonic. In addition, fear-mongering leads to more fear and that, in turn, leads to a loss of power. That vicious cycle gives any entity additional energy. If it is negative, it’s a cycle that only feeds the problem.

Finally, the shadow beings have been theorized as alien, inter-dimensional, elemental or even the astral bodies of people who are having out-of-body experiences. Then, of course, we have those who would just put these sightings down to overactive imaginations or worse.

Once you’ve eliminated what can be explained away as having natural origins, and considering the possible sources of the shadows you see, we’re left with the paranormal. And that’s what we’ll deal with now.

You didn’t mention how long the phenomena have been going on but one of the things I’d like to emphasize is that you haven’t been harmed. In spite of the tendency to create scary stories, in only extremely, extremely rare situations has a person even been physically harmed by a spirit. In all my years of doing releasements and house cleansings I’ve never encountered the kind of negativity seen in horror movies and in the sensationalized ghost programs one might see.

And although others will no doubt argue with me, I’ve found it interesting that it’s seldom people who don’t believe in the demonic who are plagued by dark energies. Rather it’s people who do believe in negative, evil spirits and thus fear them. In truth I don’t like to even discuss the possibility of shadow people as being negative because I don’t want to implant fear into you. Yet any search into their meaning will reveal this angle and I want to address them all.

You raised the question of the shadows being your violent, deceased husband. It could be, that’s certainly one possibility. How do you feel in the presence of these shadows? You mention being less afraid than just startled. Quite frequently people recognize a spirit as being that of a relative because of some cue that they can associate with their dearly departed. It might be the whiff of a familiar fragrance or cologne. Perhaps the vision itself is evocative of the deceased. Frequently there’s just a comfortable knowing that it was their loved one, a sense of them as being present, a calm feeling and certainty that it is who you believe it is.

You also asked what you should do about the phenomena. If the activity is merely a spirit trying to call attention to itself, and it’s a loving spirit merely there to convey love and a healthy connectedness, then just acknowledging that you know they’re there can help. A friend always knows her grandfather is around because of the scent of his sweet pipe tobacco. She smiles, tells him she loves him and appreciates his visit, and the fragrance fades leaving her with the wonderful knowledge that he’s never far away.

There’s a difference, though, between that kind of experience and those phenomena that cause fear, concern, or at the very least disturbances. To let those go, first affirm to yourself your goal of eliminating them from your home. I’ve frequently spoken of the Native American practice of smudging, the use of sacred plants like sage, cedar and sweetgrass which when burned releases fragrant smoke that removes negativity from the environment.

Refuse to be frightened. Some people find that firmly stating aloud that it’s your home and you won’t tolerate any intrusion to be a helpful way of moving them on. Fearfulness—as mentioned before—gives the energy power.

Mentally surround yourself and your home with white light and ask the Divine to infuse you and your home with the light and love of Their protection and presence. Finally, if you find that you need help, let me know and I’ll discuss more options.

Many blessings, Asrianna

Asrianna Dameron is a Psychic, a Spiritual Medium, a Certified Hypnotherapist, and a Certified Past Life Regressionist in private practice. She offers individual and group sessions as well as seminars and speaking engagements on the topics of Psychic Development, Mediumship, Hypnosis and Shamanic healing. Asrianna can be reached at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it , by visiting her websites at www.shamansheart.com or www.nhshamanandpsychicmedium.com, or by calling 603-892-1268.