Too often we get caught up in the dramas and stresses of life and sometimes it is helpful to take things a little less seriously. Enlighten Up is a regular column that takes a look at spirituality in a thoughtful yet easy-going manner. It is the creation of Aaron Hoopes and Rita Lang from Orange, CT.

This is going to be a little ironic in that the first column of Enlighten Up is going to cover something a little heavy. As some of you may know, our little Abyssinian cat, Shishi passed away recently. We knew it was coming but still it was quite traumatic. Shishi had been ill for some time. She was 12 years old, which is the average lifespan for Abyssinians. As of late she had been losing weight despite a ravenous appetite. The vet wanted to run all sorts of tests, insisting we shouldn’t stop until we found out what was wrong with her. We knew she was dying, that was enough. All the tests were going to do was put a label on it. So after some blood work to rule out curable issues, we stopped them and brought her home. Shishi was in great spirits. She was as loving as ever and seemed genuinely happy and content as if she knew what was happening and had accepted it. The last few weeks, as she got smaller and smaller, were very special and intense. She was in no pain at all, as far as we could tell, just a tiny, loving fur ball getting weaker and weaker by the day.

I think she knew what was coming and chose the best method to move on. She waited until Rita and I were at the Whole Health Expo in Portsmouth and she was home alone with Rita’s 15-year-old daughter, Emily. It wasn’t violent or ugly she simply curled up in Emily’s lap and went to sleep one last time, on her own terms.

How heart-wrenchingly painful it is to come home to find your cat stiff and lifeless on the couch. It is very easy to go to a place of second-guessing if you did things differently she might have lived longer. It is very easy to get caught up in the despair of not being with her in the last moments. Lots of tears…

Your perceptions change when these types of events take place. How important is taking out the garbage… my cat is dead!

And yet we move on. There are bills to pay and classes to teach. The ache slowly dims and we remember her fondly along with all the other pets we have lost. Other people offer sympathy, but don’t really feel our pain, just as we offer sympathy when someone else tells us their pet died.

Death brings such finality with it. No more opportunities to say something else or show your feelings.

Once someone dies our relationship with them is carved into stone. It doesn’t matter if it is a pet or a person. While they are alive we have a chance to create whatever relationship we can with them. While they are alive we can be loving, caring or forgiving. Once they are gone we cannot change that. It is only during life that we have the opportunity to adjust the way we relate to others. Take a moment and think about the relationships in your life, be it with your pet, your partner, or your children. Make the relationship you have with them now the one you want carved into stone when you are gone.

Aaron Hoopes is an author, instructor and the founder of Zen Yoga. His newest book Breathe Smart 2nd Edition is available now. Rita Lang is a licensed massage therapist and the Program Director of Zen Yoga. More information is available at www.artofzenyoga.com.