The human living process is truly one of the greatest amazements still largely outside our grasp. Even with all our technology and studies to know it, how we each exist moment by moment, create, and love is a constant source of discovery.
For the past few years my husband and I have been meeting challenges of health matters, financial and human heartbreaks not too different from others alive today. However, in this daily process, the self-knowing, reflection and awareness processes keep revealing ever wider possibilities within us as living beings to create a-new.
Each time I hit a constraint that seems to say this is the wall, you can do no more, you cannot go on – I recall what I’ve learned – creation has created me with infinite resources to deal with anything I may be challenged with as a living being. This thought promotes me to open further, to surrender, and to allow that I cannot control life, but I am given the creative spirit to navigate it. And so with this held idea I act with hope and prayer that I open to these resources, and infinite they are. I experience these resources as divine, ever opening infinite organizing principles. As I open, and yes surrender my own beliefs of limitation, a new threshold presents itself. Hope comes alive in me. I begin to receive what I need. Sometimes it comes in the door as a person who can say just the right thing to me or provide a loving comment that lifts me. Sometimes it’s an entirely new idea I’d never thought of for how to manage a difficult situation. Sometimes it’s an opportunity for a new project, or a new way to serve that feeds me, and others, more fully.
It comes out of the energy of loving. Sometimes I’ll sit and cry for a bit when I feel that wall, then as I allow the tears, feel the heartbreak fully, something begins to shift. My tired and overly taxed energy system is restored. Hope “springs eternal” and in this hope is the God energy feeding me the will, the thrust to breathe on, to know again that energy and to allow it to fill me with the next act, the next step.
Now recently I hit such a wall. My husband, Norm, came home from hospital and was in need of constant care. I have found resources to support me in his care from all kinds of directions in the past, but I needed more if I was to keep him in our home. I sit this moment allowing that process to unfold, and I am experiencing surprises daily and amazing soul gifts. This very knowing is the hope that keeps this human process moving forward. Process philosopher, Alfred N. Whitehead speaks to this saying life must create novelty – it must act in its fulfillment of itself being itself. The creative act is the act of aliveness, of hope and of loving feelings. When I listen to a beautiful song or hear a bird singing outside my window just before dawn, then the dawn comes, I feel this lift, this inspiration, breathing in life and my mind and heart awaken to its creative potential.
There is one more thing I’ve noticed. When I’m facing the constant repetition of care-giving, it’s not doing the job efficiently that makes it easier, it’s the interaction with the human being I am serving, feeling, knowing and calling out of them their nature. In this I find infinite novelty and my compassion comes alive. Ah then the job is only part of the act of care-giving. It’s me and the one receiving, we together, are creating the moment of possibility. We laugh, we do something silly totally unexpected and our moment is shifted from exhaustion to love and spirit. I think this is what Patch Adams, the clown and physician knows so well about health and healing.
A human being is truly an infinite of infinite acts of possibilities. Emily Dickenson said, “Dwell in Possibility.” This is how we come to know ourselves as more than flesh and blood with body parts working together. We beings of spirit are constantly generating creative acts woven together, exponentially expanding, contracting and moving us along to deeper satisfactions and meaning.
So today, what’s it all about? What came to me was this piece. Can it be of help to some fellow being? That would be lovely. But what amazes me most is that I can shift a hopeless moment to one of creativity and possibility and find meaning in it all. Now that’s pretty amazing and where did all that come from? I say Life – and life is the matter of fact so available with every breath. What may appear to be a “dead-end moment” is just the closing of one door opening us to another direction. And another good bit here is how it all fits together in this spiritual creation called Life – it connects all life, all us living beings together, into this amazing becoming of co-creation with each breath. It’s a source of wonder, and unfolding surprise. Whatever happens there’s some gift in it. I hope this has opened in you a bit of hope and wonder about your possibilities in this moment.
P.S. Since first writing this, I’ve been blessed with calls and visits from loving friends and people I would never have imagined available for helping in the care-giving and resources from health providers also in unsuspected places who are really being helpful. And the gifts of music, photos and beauty have suddenly come from friends just when I needed them most. And Norm continues his becoming of living and we are sharing very special moments in our challenges. Now that’s amazing!
Skye Hirst, Ph.D. provides executive and personal coaching and writes a blog on www.autognomics.org.