HEALING

What defines “healing”? Webster would say to make healthy, whole, or sound. But, what are the determining factors for this? Is there a perfect picture of health we must strive for and anything less than that needs to be “healed”? Is it a life without any sense of physical pain, or mental, emotional anguish? We could probably all agree that without discomfort we wouldn’t know comfort. So, how do we know what needs to be “fixed,” who does the fixing, and when? If you are looking to be healed by a “healer,” are you actually relinquishing your personal power over your own state of well being? An important introspective question to ask yourself would be whether or not you are anticipating the healer to know what defines health for you above and beyond your own self-knowledge. Perhaps if signs and symptoms of disease present themselves in an overwhelming manner it could shake your self-confidence enough to lose faith in your own understanding of the healing process. At that time, it may indeed make good sense to illicit the help of another, but with a clear sense of partnership in the relationship.

As we begin this exploration on the concept of healing, let us first recognize that we cannot think of health in terms of what works for the masses. Health is an individual state of being. What is healthy for me may not be healthy for you. It is a personal formula for balance, which most times looks more like a solo dance as we respond to our own physical, intellectual, and spiritual needs. However, there are those times when dancing with another, a healer, can help us work through aspects which may have thrown us out of balance. They can assist us once again or perhaps for the first time, to attune with one’s own beat, that which moves each of us in our own unique manner.

WHAT IS A HEALER??

A healer is a helper, a facilitator, someone who holds the door wide after it has been cracked open by the individual in need. Only someone seeking assistance is open to facilitation. It cannot be forced. Once this step has been taken it is up to the healer to create an environment of support in which the individual feels comfortable enough to open up, not only to the healer, but more importantly to themselves. The healer, in a sense, becomes a reflective mirror enabling the person to see herself more clearly and without judgment. This unique atmosphere can only take place if the healer has avoided the tendency towards a preconceived notion of the individual’s state of being. We are trained to trust our intuition, and indeed we must in order to be an effective facilitator for each client, however, we must never forget the privilege of meeting each individual where they are, allowing them to reveal themselves in their own time, and in their own way. We cannot want more for our clients than they want for themselves. There are some individuals who talk non-stop on the Massage or Reiki table, or make side comments during a Yoga class about their own “performance” or lack thereof. As a professional practitioner we may feel they would benefit so much more if they would only quiet down. This is probably true, but if the time is not right the person would feel very uncomfortable if they were forced to focus on being quiet, when they are feeling the need to be vocal. When we allow the individual to be who they are in that moment it creates an environment of acceptance which then opens up the possibility for a shift in awareness. Perhaps at that point a level of comfort can be reached which allows the individual to be led into a change of focus from uneasy chatter to noticing their breath. With the attention on breathing, the person is drawn deeper into their own true state of peaceful existence. Space has been created giving way to a clearer view of the self. This is the first step to understanding the clues, or symptoms provided by the mind and body.

This begins the process in which individual health can be achieved. The process itself is as individual as the person himself. It terms of time it may happen as quickly as turning on a light switch, or as long as a lifetime, with the majority obviously falling somewhere in-between.

GOOD HEALER ~ BAD HEALER

So, are there good and bad healers? We’ve all heard talk that sounds something like this, “Go to her, she heals everyone she touches,” or “Don’t go to him, I’ve been to him and I didn’t feel anything!” or, “She charges a lot, she must be good.” These statements reveal an assumption that all power of healing rests with the individual known as the healer, leaving no responsibility with the patient, client, or student. This is a mistake in definition between the term “to heal” and “to cure.” Healing is what the patient or client does for herself to bring about homeostasis of the body, mind and spirit. It is an organic process with an integration of all elements of the individual. Curing refers to something done to the individual and usually only relieves the symptoms of the problem, a temporary fix, leaving the underlying cause unresolved. A patient may feel cured of their shoulder pain with a cortisone shot, but will have no understanding of what that shoulder pain was trying to reveal to them. The cause of the pain is not yet known, only hidden deeper. But, not to worry, the body can be quite relentless in getting its message across, the pain will return and another opportunity for growth and understanding will be provided.

Setting aside the detour route of curing and returning to the discussion of healing, there is a need to stress the dual relationship involved in healing. Healing can certainly be accomplished alone, but from time to time we all get stuck in our own way and need another to hold the light while we look deeper within ourselves.
Yes, it would seem that there are some individuals who are more capable of holding the light a little steadier and perhaps a little higher than others, thus facilitating our introspection with greater ease. And of course knowledge, wisdom and experience all play a very important role in one’s ability to understand what is happening. Those who appear to be best qualified for this endeavor all seem to have three common traits.

THREE REQUIREMENTS FOR "SUCCESS"

The most basic, yet important requirement in the life of a healer is love of oneself. Love, forgiveness, acceptance, and understanding, usually occurring in reverse order, are mandatory. With the energy we bring to the experience, we create the playing field for our client, patient, or student’s exploration. If we are unloving towards ourselves, we provide a muddied field. The individual in need may not be able to pinpoint what the problem is, they usually are rightfully busy with their own situation, but something will feel “off” to them, uncomfortable and unsafe.

HEALING IS LOVE

In fact, it is unconditional love. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross has said “I’m not okay, you’re not okay, but that’s okay.” This will most probably always be true. As we each clear up one difficult issue in our lives another one surfaces. It’s what we do. We are busy removing the hooks as they catch us. How we go about that process is up to us. If it seems just too difficult on any given day to love oneself freely, then perhaps to get started it would help to realize that it is our responsibility, our duty as healers, to do our homework, otherwise what we offer is a façade. There is an unspoken language between all living creatures. Humans are the only ones that have ever believed that they can vocalize one thing and live another. We must love ourselves and forgive ourselves on a daily basis so that others will learn to do the same. It is by our example of self love that we teach others how to love themselves. This may never reach the point of conversation, yet it is powerfully conveyed. It is the strongest trait of a gifted facilitator. It is the fertile groundwork for the greater growth. The underlying power of self-love is subtly transmitted as permission for the other to love herself, to accept himself, to forgive themselves. This permission leads the individual to self discovery, the opportunity to see oneself with honesty and clarity, which leads to loving oneself, and ultimately to healing.

The second requirement for successful healing relationships is love of others, the ability to step back and realize that we are all made of the same “stuff.” There is no thought, word, or deed that could not be executed by each and every one of us, if circumstances made way for it. We may not feel in agreement with all whom we meet, and that’s okay. But, the acknowledgement that in some way each person is just like me, with the same need of love and acceptance, is a powerful, yet humbling, necessary realization. It’s easy to love those we quickly look over and deem lovable, just because they are appealing to the eye. If we find ourselves challenged to hold open the door, and keep the light shinning high for certain individuals, that’s okay, too. We can recognize that thought, that feeling, and then we make a choice. For every time we are able to remember that all life deserves the right to experience loving kindness, without our passing judgment, we grow stronger in our understanding of love. And when we forget, we need to forgive ourselves and grow a little wiser in our knowledge of forgiveness. Growth is constant.

The third trait of the successful healer is remembering who you are. You are the same as the person who is coming to you seeking help; however, you are in a different place at that moment. It is with humbleness and gratitude that we offer our services to facilitate another’s work. And then we get out of the way. We allow the energy, which is created through the intention of the experience to creatively do its thing. The power of the patient, client, or student’s desire for change unites with our willingness to bring our openness and unconditional love to support them in their heart’s desire. Whatever change, transition, or healing that does or does not take place in that time of coming together is not meant to define either party. It is initiated with the best of intention for the highest good of the client and must be ended with the knowledge and faith that we do not know, nor are we meant to know, all the workings of the universe. Pain, discomfort, sickness, frequently weakens our fighting attitude. We become more pliable. We surrender. What if the lesson to be learned can only be understood from being in such a place? I do not believe that we must only learn through pain, but I do know from personal experience that there are times when it has taught me something I would never have seen otherwise due to my own arrogance. It is not our job to declare success or failure of any given experience. Our success rests in our ability to love ourselves, offer loving kindness to others, and accept that outcome is not part of our job description. We provide the best possible breeding ground for health to surface, and then we step back with gratitude and allow the individual’s life to continue to unfold at their own pace.

WHO IS THE HEALER?

There are those of us who have studied and dedicated our lives to the art of healing. We make appointments with our clients and receive payment for our services. And for the most part, I believe we each partake in this exchange with the knowledge and humbleness required to fulfill such an agreement with another. However, the fact is, we are all healers, and sometimes we are in need of healing. These roles are interchangeable throughout our lifetime and it’s important to recognize when we are living each role, and not seek healing when called upon to be the healer. There is a time and a place for both, sometimes even within the same day!

Recognize that healers are in all walks of  life. They may not label themselves as such, but they are out there. Did you ever experience walking into a grocery store in a grumpy mood and the cashier greets you with sincere words of kindness and you feel your heart soften? At that moment a healing occurred! Your grumpy demeanor was overlooked and met with unconditional kindness, and your heart expressed its desire to soften.

Have you ever been healed by the love of an animal? No matter what mood you are in your best buddy, Spot, is at the door to greet you, or the softness of your fickle, yet dedicated, feline rubbing up against your face? That also is a partnership in healing, they are experts at giving unconditional love, and we can allow that to soften our “bad” day.

As we conclude our exploration into the Art of Healing it would also be appropriate to mention the element of time. We live in a hurry-up society, and frequently it is difficult to accept nature’s timetable in the process of healing. There are some things in life we can control, but it would be wise to remember that we cannot control nature. In fact, maybe nature’s schedule is actually a gift to us, a reminder to slow down and be one with the elements, which matter the most. Whether we are feeling in need of healing or we are playing an active role in another’s process, it is helpful, with respect and sensitivity, to give the space and time necessary for individual health to be realized.

Rita Lang teaches Zen Yoga and is the Director of Instructor Programs for new Zen Yoga teachers. She is also a licensed massage therapist whose work includes Thai massage as well as teaching partner Thai massage. She has over 25 years studying and practicing yoga and related disciplines. Website: www.artofzenyoga.com Contact Rita: This e-mail address is being protected from spambots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it .